Love is the Ultimate Creative Act

Love is in the air. It’s February! It’s easy to think that the opportunity for creativity around Valentine’s Day is in crafting cards, making homemade valentines cookies or planning the ultimate date night. But, what if the actual act of creativity for Valentine’s Day is the process of creating relationships themselves? Building a relationship of any kind–marriage, significant other, friendship, parent/child–is a creative process because it requires constant growth, curiosity and openness to possibility to continuously nourish and deepen the connection between people. 

When you meet someone new, you have to be open to getting to know them, you have to take a risk to put yourself out there to possibly be rejected and you have to get deeply curious about the other person. Openness, risk-taking and curiosity are three core traits of creativity! 

Fun fact, a recent study out of Northwestern University found that people who have a creative mindset find their life partners more desirable and attractive longer than those who do not regularly practice creativity. Huh? How does creativity connect to finding your hubby or wife attractive? Well, creative people are willing to play with each other, try new things and reinvent to keep things new and fresh. And let’s face it, if you are in a marriage and you have children, it is easy to get stuck in a romantic rut, so a willingness to get creative helps avoid just being in the same routine day in and day out. 

We don’t often give ourselves credit for the creativity it requires to get to know a new person and then to maintain intimacy through a whole series of different types of challenges. Even in friendships, we are in constant problem solving mode, which is a form of creativity. We have busy lives and we need to figure out how to find time to hang out or we might not have the same hobbies or interests and have to find common ground. 

For this Valentine’s Day, take a moment to notice how you have brought creativity to the relationships that mean the most to you?

  • Have you expressed appreciation in a fun or novel way?

  • Have you created intimacy through vulnerability and revealing your emotions?

  • Have you found opportunities for play and laughter?

  • Have you made plans that bring people together to form meaningful connections?

  • Have you overcome obstacles and deepened bonds?


Why not celebrate love and creativity all at once?